Saturday, June 25, 2011

Humor Saturday

You might be a Redneck Pagan if...

  • If you think "widdershins" refers to the calves of the bereaved lady next door....
  • If you think fetch deer is a command you give yer dawg....
  • If you think a goblet is a young turkey....
  • If you think Drawing Down the Moon means demolishing the outhouse....
  • If you call your coven mates "Bud" and "Sis"....
  • If you think a Great Rite is turning onto County Road 13....
  • If your Quarter candles smell like kerosene....
  • If you pronounce "Athame" as "Athaym" and "Samhain" as "Sammon" or "Sam-hayn"....
  • If you think a "Sidhe" is a girl....
  • If your idea of the "Goddess" is the Coors Swedish Bikini Ski Team....
  • If your Bard plays the banjo....
  • If your 'Long Lost Friend really IS....
  • If your lawn is decorated with at least one, preferably two or more, plastic pink flamingos, whom you regard as your familiars....
  • If your Wand of Power is a cattle prod....
  • If your ceremonial belt has your name on the back and a belt buckle bigger than your head....
  • If you call the Quarters by invoking "Billy, Joe, Jim and Bob"....
  • If you call the Gods by hollerin' "Hey y'all, watch me!"....
  • If your favorite robe has the logo of a manufacturer of major farm equipment on the back....
  • If you've ever harvested ritual herbs with a weed wacker....
  • If your ritual staff is a double barrel shotgun....
  • If your ritual garments include any one of the following: plaid flannels, long johns, a pistol belt, or cowboy boots....
  • If you've ever blessed chewing tobacco or snuff....
  • If your ritual wine is Maddog 20/20, Night Train or White Lady 21....
  • If the instructions to get to your Covenstead include the words "After you turn off the paved road"....
  • If your altar-cloth is a rebel flag....
  • If you use junk cars to mark the four corners of your circle....
  • If your Eternal Flame just happens to be under a still....
  • If you use an engine block for an altar....
  • If your High Priestess is your cousin - as well as your wife....
  • If, when drawing down the moon, you say, "Ya'll come on down, ya hear?"....
  • If your pickup truck has an Athame rack....
  • If your crystal ball is made of polystyrene (i.e., a bowling ball)....
  • If your High Priestess has a spittoon on her altar....

You might be a Redneck Pagan!
This post is pure humor and not to be taken seriously. If you have any Lines to add feel free to respond to this post!


1 comment:

  1. I'd like to cordially invite you to join us at The Minerva's Site Competition! Hope to see you there!
    http://minervascompetition.info

    Hugs
    Finder Thorn

    ReplyDelete